Questions & Answers

Thank you for reaching out to us. I hear how heavy and frustrating this feels for you right now. You are not alone. Living with trauma can sometimes feel like carrying a weight that just won't lift, and it's completely understandable to feel discouraged and frustrated when it seems like it's affecting everything in your life.

Thank you so much for asking this question. The development of PTSD after trauma depends on a complex interplay of factors unique to each teenager. Our brains during adolescence are still developing, particularly in areas that handle emotion regulation and stress response. Some teens naturally have a more sensitive stress response system due to their genetic makeup and family history of mental health conditions. This biological foundation acts as a starting point that influences how the brain processes and responds to traumatic experiences.

This is a really tough place to be in and we appreciate you reaching out and trusting us with these feelings. That weight of feeling "too late" for healing is something many survivors struggle with. Please know you're not alone in this experience. It's never too late to begin this journey, even though I completely understand why it might feel that way.

Thank you for reaching out to us with your feelings and frustrations. The sense of injustice after trauma can feel overwhelming, and it's particularly hard when the very support system meant to help you heal doesn't feel like the right fit. Feeling that life is unfair after trauma is a natural and valid response. You've experienced something that shouldn't have happened, and there's a profound unfairness in having to carry the weight of someone else's actions. It's okay to feel angry, hurt, or frustrated about this. These feelings aren't a fai...

Thank you for reaching out to us and asking this important question about why it's so hard for teenagers to speak up about traumatic experiences. The silence that often surrounds teenage trauma is complex and happens for many understandable reasons. During adolescence, we're in a unique developmental stage where we're trying to figure out who we are while being extremely aware of how others perceive us. This heightened self-consciousness can make us feel like any negative experience might change how people see us or treat us differently. We of...

Thank you for reaching out and asking this important question about trauma processing. The concern about making things worse through rumination is something many survivors struggle with, and it's valid to want to understand how our thoughts might affect our healing.

Thank you for sharing this painful question about parents missing signs of trauma. It's a complex situation that deserves careful exploration, as it touches on both the limitations parents may face and the very real hurt their children experience when trauma goes unrecognized.

Thank you for asking this. Disclosing a personal and possibly painful experience to a family member can be a daunting task, especially when there's fear of being judged. It's important to approach this conversation in a way that feels safe and comfortable for you. First, consider choosing a time and place where you won't be interrupted and where you feel at ease. A private, quiet setting can help reduce anxiety and create a space where both of you can focus on the conversation. It might be helpful to plan what you want to say in advance. Writi...

Thank you so much for sharing your intimate feelings with us. Feelings of guilt about not speaking up sooner are completely normal, but please know that keeping quiet was not wrong or your fault. Many people stay silent about uncomfortable or traumatic experiences, especially when they happen during childhood. Confusion about the nature of the touch is absolutely valid - our minds and bodies often need time to process experiences that feel violating or uncomfortable. Your courage in exploring these feelings now shows incredible strength.

Thank you for sharing this with us. Your feelings of uncertainty and questioning are very common reactions to boundary violations, especially ones that occurred during adolescence.  First, let's address your question about whether this was "traumatic enough." There's no minimum threshold for what makes an experience traumatic or worthy of causing distress. What matters is how it impacted you. The fact that this memory has stayed with you and continues to cause discomfort years later indicates that it was significant to you, and that signi...

Thank you for trusting us with these complex and painful feelings. I know firsthand how exhausting and confusing it can be to question whether what happened to you was abuse. Your question touches on something many survivors experience, and these feelings of doubt are completely normal responses to trauma, even though they can feel overwhelming and isolating.

Thank you for reaching out with this important question. Molestation can have a profound impact on a teenager, even if it occurs only once, due to several interconnected reasons related to the developmental stage of adolescence and the nature of traumatic experiences.Teenage years are a critical period of growth and development, both physically and emotionally. Adolescents are forming their identities, establishing personal boundaries, and learning to navigate complex social and interpersonal relationships. A violation like molestation can dis...

Thank you so much for trusting us with this. What you're experiencing are incredibly common responses to childhood sexual experiences, and I want you to know that your feelings are valid while also offering you a different perspective to consider. The shame you're carrying is understandable, but it may not be as justified as your mind is telling you.

Thank you for reaching out and sharing this deeply personal experience. It takes courage to reflect on your past and seek understanding about something that's weighing on you, especially when you fear you have caused harm to others.When children engage in sexual behaviors with other children, it can be a complex issue influenced by various factors, including natural curiosity, exposure to sexual content, or as in your case, prior experiences of abuse. At the age of eight, you were still very much a child yourself, trying to make sense of the w...

It is not uncommon for survivors to experience a wide range of confusing and conflicting emotions and sensations after their assault, including sexual arousal. This can be especially distressing for individuals who may feel guilty or ashamed for feeling aroused in response to a traumatic event.

The healing process can be an opportunity to regain the control and autonomy that is often taken away during a traumatic experience. You are in the driver seat of your recovery and you decide how you want to navigate your healing and what’s best for you.

Thank you for this question. First and foremost, I want to commend you for your bravery in confronting this painful memory and seeking understanding. Recognizing the impact of childhood experiences is a courageous step in the healing process. What you've described - being repeatedly subjected to forced enemas despite your protests and distress - sounds deeply distressing and violating. The fact that you recall screaming, begging, and then dissociating (a common trauma response) underscores the emotional impact of these experiences.

When a loved one is going through a difficult time in their healing journey, they may look to you for support or encouragement. However, it is important to remember that your own mental health is important too. Trauma is extremely painful and sometimes no matter what you do as a bystander, it can feel like not enough. At times like these, you may need to set boundaries to ensure that your needs are addressed as well.

Thanks for asking aboout this. The distinction between normal childhood curiosity and problematic sexual behavior involves several important factors, with age differences and genuine mutuality being key considerations. A key difference lies in the age gap between the children and the presence or absence of genuine mutuality. When a four-year-old is interacting with a twelve-year-old, there is already a significant disparity in power, understanding, and development. Children that young do not have the capacity to consent, and a much older child...

Thank you for your question. If you have not experienced any form of gender-based harm, it might be hard to imagine why survivors who go through these horrific experiences do not always report them.  Unfortunately, due to the characteristics of one's sexual harm experience, the lack of protection for survivors, and historical injustices within the criminal-legal system, gender-based violence is the most underreported crime. For example, it is estimated that 63% of sexual assaults are not reported to police and only 12% of child sexual abu...